I feel like all I ever do here is complain about work but this job is seriously going to make me go insane

all my managers are the epitome of plastic barbie doll with high senses of self-importance, like my head cashier literally spent the entire training calling other employees “retarded”, and they all fucking look the SAME and I have to pretend to be one of them for 5-8 hours a day

and people buy soooooo much stuff that it actually makes me sad how much money people can spend on shitty clothes

my mom sent me a “happy birthday” text saying god bless me and that she wishes me the best

dying of irony

I kept a diary or journal or whatever pretty consistently from 3rd grade all the way to 9th and it helped me deal with a lot of pre-teen angst and other dumb shit like that, and I’m kind of in a weird point in my life where there’s things I can’t talk to anyone about and I’m feeling like a dramatic 13 year old again except now my problems are multiplied by 100 I feel like every decision I’m making is going to have some monumental impact on my future and it’s scary

and I just need somewhere where nobody can judge what I have to say

I’m such a shit person

I’m a crappy friend because I never want to talk to anyone, even people that I genuinely like and care about, or let people into my life and I’m just selfish and don’t ever consider anybody else’s feelings and I try really hard not to suck all the time but I always just act like a bitch anyway

Idk where I’m going with this so

SO let me tell you guys about how incredible my weekend is going to be

On Friday I’m going on a shark sampling trip with FIU and we’re going to to be on the water catching Bull Sharks all day!

On Saturday I’m going to one of my favorite beaches with Karley

and on Sunday I’m going to a Paul McCartney concert in Orlando

sdghfkmhgiufygkfdbiu :D!!

I’ve only been back at my dad’s house for 4 days and I already want to spend as little time here as possible, but then my dad guilt trips me by bitching about how he never sees me and so I’m torn and it’s just soooo boring in this house

I feel like I’ve been so scatterbrained lately

my mind is in a million different places right now and I’m getting money/future anxiety, and I can just feel myself getting into this rut of negative feelings again

There’s just too much on my plate, can we pause life for a few days..

So I just found out (after 2 years) that my dad’s girlfriend’s son, lets just call him my stepbrother for time purposes, SMOKES WEED AND DOES ACID AND guys he lives in my house I think I just found my new best friend

and we had this whole conversation while my parents were at the table not understanding anything because they don’t speak English or know what “acid” is

lolololol

whooooopee drunken conversations

I don’t wanna go back to Miami

my Gainesville life is like 500 times better

):

Having to take summer classes is impeding on my life so muchhhhh

I have to take chem at the Biscayne Bay campus so that means a 30 minute drive every morning

although that also means I’ll be next to the beach 3 days a week

and calculus isn’t even available for summer A so I sent in an application to take it at Dade for summer B and I’m going to be in school pretty much ALL SUMMER

it never ends ):

I’m watching Jurassic Park for the first time ever and this movie is SO SCARY

aaaah I’m emailing this guy about this volunteer opportunity for the summer that would be assisting in catching, tagging, tissue samples, and monitoring behavior of Bull Sharks in the Everglades, and lab work having to do with genetic samples of Lemon and Black Tip sharks

guys I LOVE sharks

I’m so stoked this would be such good shit for my resume whooooooo

So relieved that I finally got my lab practicum over with because I was literally having bad dreams about it

and I did amazingly so I’m getting an A in lab

and if I get a 74 on my WIS lecture test which I’ll definitely get even higher than that, I’ll get an A in that class too!

and I got an A in sustainable development too so maybe that will balance out my D in bio ugh

So I got a D+ in Bio

fuck me

my adviser told me not to worry bc I have the AP credit for it but like FUCK I failed a class

omg my university’s newspaper has a poll on the website that says “have you ever taken acid” and it’s currently over 60% yes

can we talk about how statistically wrong this is lol